Ordination Question

I finally finished my ordination paperwork a week or so ago. Here is one of the questions...
I thought I would share the question and my answer with all of you. Has anyone else read this book?

1. Reflect on a recent book you’ve read regarding ministry. In what way was your heart/mind/soul expanded? How can you apply these insights to your future as a pastor?

Over the past year, I have read and reread the book, “A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix,” by Edwin Friedman. The book struck me with the depth of insight and new paradigms for the task of leadership. The first part of the book traces the challenges facing leaders (“from parents to presidents”) in our current society, while the second part helped me to see new ways I might provide effective leadership through self-differentiation. His thesis is grounded in the view that our society is filled with a chronic anxiety, and his encouragement for leaders is for us to focus first on our own integrity and on the nature of our own presence rather than focusing on techniques of manipulating or motivating others.

My heart and mind was expanded greatly relative to his framework for understanding our society, and I see the ways that our society, as well as the congregation and the community in which I serve seems to focus on the most anxious members of the system rather than putting our energy into the most energetic, visionary, imaginative and motivated persons. In order for medieval Europe to have a renaissance they needed bold and imaginative leaders. For the earliest European explorers to move their civilization into the New World they had to reorient the Old World that was stuck in its’ orientation. Friedman hypothesizes (and I wholeheartedly agree) that we experience similar societal anxiety in contemporary American society, and we need adventurous leadership to pull us out of our anxious existence.

My future as pastor will continue to be informed by my insights from this book. I believe I can more effectively identify the symptoms of this chronic anxiety: “reactivity, herding, blaming, a quick-fix mentality, and lack of leadership.” To counteract these destructive forces, I can only stand apart from this anxiety (refusing to get “sucked into it”) and be the presence of change that I wish to see. I believe that I can only do that if I am fully grounded in my identity in God, if I regulate myself well (with the help of God), respond to challenges in creative and imaginative ways, and allow time for processes to mature. Maintaining my connection with God through spiritual disciplines is vital.

"The Failure of Nerve"

I just finished this magnificent book by Edwin Friedman. Building on his earlier work in Generation to Generation, Friedman was working on this book on leadership at the time of his death in 1996. Friedman's wife worked with several of his colleagues to bring the manuscript to print -- at least, the 300+ pages that Friedman had written by that point. The first five chapters are thorough; the latter five chapters are somewhat more sketchy; but there is enough material here that the interested reader can get a pretty good glimpse of where Friedman was headed.

Friedman's thesis: there is a "failure of nerve" in American civilization today. "There exists," he says, "throughout America today a rampant sabotaging of leaders who try to stand tall amidst the raging anxiety-storms of our time. It is a highly reactive atmosphere pervading all the institutions of our society -- a regressive mood that contaminates the decision-making processes of government and corporations at the highest level, and, on the local level, seeps down into the deliberations of neighborhood church, synagogue, hospital, library, and school boards." This reactivity leads to what he calls a "leadership-toxic climate" that makes it exceptionally difficult for clear, decisive, well-defined leadership to function effectively. The book, he says, "is about leadership in the land of the quick fix, about leadership in a society so reactive that it cannot choose leaders who might calm its anxiety."

He talks a lot about developing into "well-differentiated leaders," which is not an autocratic boss who coerces others, but is any leader who takes responsibility for their own emotional being and destiny. This kind of leader has clarity about his or her life goals, and, therefore is less likely to become lost in the anxious emotional processes swirling about. How do we remain separate while still remaining connected, and therefore maintain a non-anxious/challenging presence? Leaders must manage their own reactivity to the automatic reactivity of others. We don't need more information, we need leaders who understand the power of their presence!

In his first chapter, "Imaginative Gridlock and the Spirit of Adventure," Friedman talks about a powerful connection between New World explorers leading Western society out of the dark ages, and the need for such leaders in our world today. Friedman describes our society, at present, as "chronically anxious," featuring five distinguishing characteristics: reactivity, hearding, blame displacement, a quick-fix mentality, and a lack of well-differentiated leadership.

I found his chapter on "empathy" to be particularly challenging and compelling, but on the whole this book is deeply profound. I think I will now find myself filtering just about everything else I read on the subject of leadership through this lens. I think it will help me to become more self-differentiated, to have a clearer understanding of my task and purpose (or, perhaps more accurately, my presence), and to raise my level of courage and stamina that is rooted in the love of God demonstrated to us in Christ.