Conflict as a Means of Grace

Yesterday I preached a sermon that addressed this topic somewhat. I have recently begun referring to these situations as opportunities for "conflict transformation" rather than "conflict resolution" because I recognize the ways that faithful engagement can transform people and indeed transform a community of faith.  I know that most of us would rather avoid conflict altogether. But I also recognize that conflict is inevitable in congregational life. Conflict can be a signal for us to listen deeply, discerningly, to what the Spirit is trying to teach us about ourselves, our congregations, and about living in communion with one another. So, we need to learn how to deal with it in a spiritually productive way.  Every situation is different, but a former professor of mine wrote a brief article giving some general points about "moving through conflict to greater communion in Christ."  It is looking at it from the perspective of church leaders.  He writes,

• "Identify how you are contributing to conflict and take responsibility for it. One of the most important roles of church leadership is to be a nonanxious presence in the midst of chaos and conflict. Practice disciplines of prayer and meditation that help you let go of your anxiety and develop a peaceful center within yourself. Resource: James Finley, Christian Meditation (HarperOne, 2005).  
• "Leaders should understand how anxiety in congregations generates conflict and subverts effective communication. Understand the congregation as a system in which every part affects the whole. Resource: Peter Steinke, Healthy Congregations: A Systems Approach (Alban, 1996).
•  "Strive to develop a clear and consensual vision/mission - and a covenant - for the congregation, by which every activity and relationship is guided. That will reduce the chance that differences of opinion turn into destructive conflict.  
• "When embroiled in conflict, speak one-to-one with each person involved. Try to move the conflict to the level of story. Ask them to tell you a story about why this situation means so much to them. Listen deeply, appreciatively. Try to discern the experiences that undergird their position.
• "When a decision must be made in the midst of conflict, strive to incorporate the 'truths' within opposing positions, strive to avoid win-lose scenarios, acknowledge the pain and grief that is generated in the situation. Strive to repair the relationships. Pray unceasingly for all sides and each person, especially those who treat us as enemies.

 ~Quoted sections written by: Dr. Robert K. Martin; Lovett H. Weems, Jr. Associate Professor of Church Leadership and Practical Theology at Saint Paul School of Theology in Kansas City, Missouri.

Apprenticeship BEFORE "Conversion"?

 con⋅ver⋅sion

 /kənˈvɜrʒən, -ʃən/ Sho[kuhn-vur-zhuhn, -shuhn] 
–noun 

1.	the act or process of converting; state of being converted.

2.	change in character, form, or function.

3.	spiritual change from sinfulness to righteousness.

4.	change from one religion, political belief, viewpoint, etc., to another.

5.	a change of attitude, emotion, or viewpoint from one of indifference, disbelief, or antagonism to one of acceptance, faith, or enthusiastic support, esp. such a change in a person's religion.

6.	a physical transformation from one material or state to another: conversion of coal, water, and air into nylon.

I think our linear brains want a linear process to describe the transformation that can happen when we choose to live our lives in alignment with Divine purposes.  The problem is, life just doesn't work that way!  Many folks in existing churches want to draw people into our doors on a Sunday morning, with the hope that they will begin to engage their faith and someday find oneness with the Source of All Life.


God is already at work in the lives of people not connected with a life of faith, and we will never know that unless we go out and meet others where they are.  We can no longer afford to have the mindset that people will come to "believe" before they "belong."  I believe God is calling us to build the truly deep relationships because, as humans, we need to have a sense that we truly belong before we will ever believe in anything. 



Why don't WE go out and build deep and enduring relationships "out there" instead of waiting for them to come "in here"? That way, people can come to have a sense that they BELONG before they come to any particular belief.  I think we can (and should) create that sense of belonging wherever we go...

Discipleship? Or Apprenticeship?

What does the word, "discipleship" mean to you? 

We can, of course, hear the same root as the word discipline, but the word "discipleship" has a kind of churchy quality to it, doesn't it?  Have you ever heard the word uttered outside of a religious context?  That doesn't mean that we shouldn't use it, necessarily, but I am not sure the word is particularly helpful.  I know it sounds sacrilegious to say so, but I think people outside of a community of faith hear that word, they think of someone who is supposed to proselytize them.  If we insist on using words that conjure up images that detract from Jesus' message, then we will never be able to establish relationships with the very people God is calling us to form healthy relationships.

I know, Jesus had twelve disciples who followed him during his life and ministry on earth, and that we, as followers of Christ, are also called to be "disciples" of Jesus. And I know that a disciple is a learner...  one who follows ought to study the ways of the Master, then replicate their actions.

All this being said, I have lately been drawn to calling tasks of discipleship something else entirely.  What if we instead called ourselves "APPRENTICES" of Jesus the Christ?  For me, I find this much healthier word that illustrates what we are, and what we do, more effectively.  It leaves the baggage of church jargon behind and allows us to make another connection with the culture that surrounds us.

Does anyone else share in this struggle?  What do you think?  Could this catch on?

Spiritual Renewal Leave

Hello Friends,
I am off this week for my annual spiritual renewal leave.  I have come to an agreement with my Staff Parish Relations Committee that this, in addition to my daily/weekly/monthly disciplines, is an important aspect of my own spiritual growth.  Do any of you take time off for this sort of thing?  What do you do?  How do you spend that time?  What nourishes your spirit?

I am curious to find out how others use their time...  I am spending Monday with my family (MLK, Jr. Day), and the bulk of Tuesday and Wednesday will be spent in retreat at the Kairos House of Prayer.  On Thursday, I leave for Albuquerque, NM and a course titled, "Following the Mystics through the Narrow Gates" with James Finley and Richard Rohr.  I believe it will be an incredibly fruitful week!

I am certain that will come back rested and renewed.  See you all soon!
Peace,
Gregg

Favorite Book?

It is that time of year when everyone begins to post their "favorite," or "best" lists from the past year. Also since it is the year 2009, people are also listing their favorites from the past decade.
Here are a couple of simple questions:

• What was your favorite book from this past year?

• From the past decade (if different)?

• What do you want to read this coming year (2010)?

Here is how I would answer those questions:

• From the past year, I would say my "favorite" book was "The Dark Night of the Soul," by Gerald May. It is non-fiction, so it wasn't a favorite because I "enjoyed" it, per se. It was the book that had the most impact on my life this past year.
• From the past decade, I would say that two other books had the largest impact on my spiritual journey: "The Celebration of Disciplines," by Richard Foster, and "Christian Meditation," by James Finley. I do read for enjoyment, but these two had such a huge impact that fun reading was edged out.
• In the coming year, I have two books on my immediate list: the new book by Stephen King, and "The Hole in our Gospel," by Richard Stearns. I received the second book as a Christmas gift, and the first I borrowed from a friend, so both books await! I also have some leadership books by Ronald Heifetz on my list. We'll see what I get to first.
  

Really, I am looking for suggestions... Let me know what you thought was worthwhile!
Peace,
Gregg