Yesterday I preached a sermon that addressed this topic somewhat. I have recently begun referring to these situations as opportunities for "conflict transformation" rather than "conflict resolution" because I recognize the ways that faithful engagement can transform people and indeed transform a community of faith. I know that most of us would rather avoid conflict altogether. But I also recognize that conflict is inevitable in congregational life. Conflict can be a signal for us to listen deeply, discerningly, to what the Spirit is trying to teach us about ourselves, our congregations, and about living in communion with one another. So, we need to learn how to deal with it in a spiritually productive way. Every situation is different, but a former professor of mine wrote a brief article giving some general points about "moving through conflict to greater communion in Christ." It is looking at it from the perspective of church leaders. He writes,
- "Identify how you are contributing to conflict and take responsibility for it. One of the most important roles of church leadership is to be a nonanxious presence in the midst of chaos and conflict. Practice disciplines of prayer and meditation that help you let go of your anxiety and develop a peaceful center within yourself. Resource: James Finley, Christian Meditation (HarperOne, 2005).
- "Leaders should understand how anxiety in congregations generates conflict and subverts effective communication. Understand the congregation as a system in which every part affects the whole. Resource: Peter Steinke, Healthy Congregations: A Systems Approach (Alban, 1996).
- "Strive to develop a clear and consensual vision/mission - and a covenant - for the congregation, by which every activity and relationship is guided. That will reduce the chance that differences of opinion turn into destructive conflict.
- "When embroiled in conflict, speak one-to-one with each person involved. Try to move the conflict to the level of story. Ask them to tell you a story about why this situation means so much to them. Listen deeply, appreciatively. Try to discern the experiences that undergird their position.
- "When a decision must be made in the midst of conflict, strive to incorporate the 'truths' within opposing positions, strive to avoid win-lose scenarios, acknowledge the pain and grief that is generated in the situation. Strive to repair the relationships. Pray unceasingly for all sides and each person, especially those who treat us as enemies.
